The selection of a guardian is one of the most important decisions parents can make for their children. It’s also one of the most challenging conversations financial advisors engage in with clients. Given the emotional weight of the topic and the complexities of family dynamics, many parents delay this decision—sometimes until it’s too late.
Without a legally documented guardian designation, the decision of who will care for a child falls to someone else, such as a government official or social worker. This could lead to outcomes that do not align with a parent's wishes, as well as legal disputes, delays, and unnecessary expenses. The goal of selecting a guardian is to ensure children are cared for by someone the parents trust and who aligns with their values.
When guiding clients through this decision, it’s helpful to break down guardian suitability into three key considerations: values, willingness, and ability.
1. Values: Who Shares Their Core Beliefs?
One of the top concerns parents have is whether a guardian will raise their children with similar values. Every family defines values differently, so it’s important for parents to articulate what matters most to them. This could include faith, morality, education, or other life priorities. Once they have identified these guiding principles, the next step is to determine who among their potential guardians would best model and instill these values.
2. Willingness: Will the Guardian Honor Their Wishes?
Beyond alignment in values, parents must consider whether a potential guardian is willing to take on the responsibility. For example, if education is a top priority, the guardian should be committed to supporting and encouraging a college-bound track. If continuity in the child’s community is important, the guardian should be able to keep the child in the same school, church, or social environment. A frank discussion about these expectations helps ensure that a guardian is truly prepared to uphold the parents’ wishes.
3. Ability: Is the Guardian in a Position to Serve?
While family members are often the first choice, they may not always be the best choice. Parents should consider whether a potential guardian is at the right stage in life to take on the role. Some individuals may be too old to handle the daily demands of child-rearing, while others may be too young or not yet ready for the responsibility. Financial stability is another factor—can the guardian afford to take on additional dependents? If not, have the parents made provisions, such as life insurance, to support the guardian financially?
Encouraging Communication with Potential Guardians
One of the most important steps in the guardian selection process is open and honest communication. Parents should have discussions with potential guardians before finalizing their estate documents. Clearly articulating expectations and the gravity of the request allows potential guardians to make an informed decision. A thoughtful conversation also provides peace of mind that, if the need arises, their child will be cared for by someone who is fully prepared and willing.
After a guardian is chosen, it’s essential to follow up periodically. Parents should ensure that guardians have critical information, such as details about their estate plan, contact information for key individuals, and any specific instructions regarding their children’s care. Additionally, circumstances change over time—life events in either the parents' or the guardian’s family may necessitate revisiting and updating the choice.
A Resource for Your Clients
If your clients are struggling with the decision of who to name as a guardian, they may find this Nominating a Guardian for Your Children article helpful. It provides additional guidance on the responsibilities of a guardian and steps to ensure their wishes are properly documented.
Bringing Peace of Mind to Parents
Many parents hesitate to make a guardian decision because it’s difficult to think about. That’s completely normal. However, once the decision is made and the legal documents are in place, parents often experience an immense sense of relief—one they didn’t expect to feel. As advisors, we have the opportunity to help families through this difficult decision, ensuring their children’s future is secure no matter what happens. And that peace of mind is invaluable.
Interested in partnering with Trust & Will to enhance your own clients’ estate planning needs? Learn more about how you can join over 17,000 financial advisors and firms who are delivering peace of mind to their clients by offering a comprehensive estate planning solution. Schedule a free demo today.
Trust & Will is an online service providing legal forms and information. We are not a law firm and we do not provide legal advice.
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