Tumultuous relationships and the ensuing drama are the bread and butter of reality television– that's no secret. But what viewers often don't realize is that they often deliver important lessons that can spark introspection in our own lives.
A scandal that unfolded between Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix on Bravo's "Vanderpump Rules" might have initially been steeped in the drama that viewers have come to expect, but it also shed light on a modern relationship trend. More and more long-term couples are choosing to remain unmarried.
The aftermath of Tom and Ariana's split is still unfolding, and what viewers are witnessing is just how terrible and complicated a breakup can be, especially when no legal protections are in place.
There are many reasons why a couple may choose not to get married, and they are all valid. However, action needs to happen in order to protect oneself. Trust & Will explores a few legal mechanisms for unmarried couples who want to safeguard their assets and future together.
Scandoval: An Overview
If you've followed the latest season of “Vanderpump Rules”, you would be familiar with the saga that is Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix's breakup.
According to People Magazine, Tom and Ariana's nine-year relationship went down in flames when Ariana found out about Tom's affair with co star Raquel Leviss. The couple was allegedly experiencing issues long before, but this was the "last straw" for Madix.
The aftermath, however, seems just as sticky as the breakup in itself. Sandoval and Madix continued living in the same home that they purchased together in 2019 along with their three pets. After a stalemate of almost a year, Madix decided to take legal action against Sandoval in hopes that the latter would sell the home and split the proceeds.
A recent episode of "Vanderpump Rules" shows Ariana meeting with her interior designer to figure out which of the furnishings in the home (many of them custom) were purchased by her, and how much they are valued.
While the story still unravels, one thing is clear: the lack of clear boundaries and agreements have left both Sandoval and Madix floundering in a legal grey area amidst one of the most public breakups in Hollywood.
Together, Without the Obligation
Marriage rates have been steadily declining over the last few decades, while the number of unmarried cohabitating couples has soared. In the U.S., the marriage rate has declined by 60% since the 1970s.
Studies conducted by the Pew Research Center and Thriving Center of Psychology have both found that fewer couples consider marriage a priority. This shift is largely due to the evolving nature of relationships, coupled with economic and cultural trends.
Here are some reasons why couples are making the conscious decision to remain unmarried:
The literal act of getting married is too expensive, with average costs of weddings hitting all-time highs between $30,000 and $50,000, depending on location.
Individuals who watched their parents go through divorce have fears surrounding failed relationships.
Two in five young adults feel that marriage is an outdated tradition.
73% of respondents feel that marriage is too expensive in the current economy.
85% do not believe that marriage is necessary to have a fulfilled and committed relationship.
72% were simply just not interested in getting married.
Today, it is more common for couples to have cohabitated than to have married.
65% of respondents favor giving unmarried couples the same legal rights as married couples.
Unmarried Couples Don't Have the same Legal Protections
While many believe that unmarried couples should be given the same legal rights as those who are married, unfortunately, they typically don't have the same protections.
Choosing to remain unwed is completely valid. Couples in long-term committed relationships can and do find just as much meaning and fulfillment as their married counterparts. However, while the lack of a marriage certificate may signify freedom and independence for some, it also means entering into a partnership with significant legal vulnerabilities, especially if the relationship ends. Given the reality that unmarried couples don't have the same legal rights that married couples do, it is critical to take proactive steps to protect yourself.
Here are some examples of hairy legal issues that we've gleaned from Tom and Ariana's specific situation:
Jointly Owned Real Estate: In 2019, Ariana and Tom purchased a $2 million home in Los Angeles. The pair were known to remain living under the same roof during their breakup, using a personal assistant as their go-between. It remained unclear as to who would take ownership of the home. Throughout this season of "Vanderpump," we see Ariana and Tom exchange letters, offers, and counter-offers to one another through their respective attorneys. After almost a year, tabloids report that Ariana sued Tom over the house, and eventually, purchased a $1.2 million home of her own.
Other Property: Aside from their home, Tom and Ariana shared a significant amount of property with one another. Amongst things to think about are their pets, their business interests, and household furniture.
On the show, Ariana and Tom are shown bickering over who is the legal owner of their pets, whom Ariana calls her "children." Madix argues that she has sole ownership over the pets because she paid for the adoption fees. Similarly, she is shown combing through the home with her interior designer to identify which pieces of furniture, fixtures, and decor she footed the bill for. Last but not least, Tom and Ariana both have business interests. Tom is a partial owner of the bars TomTom and Schwartz and Sandy's with costar Tom Schawrtz. Ariana is opening a sandwich shop with costar Katie Maloney. It is most likely that neither party has any business interest in one another's businesses, unless they contributed financially in any way.
Take the Steps to Protect Yourself Legally
Many couples who are choosing to stay unmarried are doing so with intention. As a part of this intentional lifestyle, it is important to take the steps to protect yourself legally.
Not all of these protection mechanisms are doom and gloom. To the contrary, most of our recommendations below will actually set you up to protect your partner if anything unexpected were to happen, helping give them rights similar to those that a married partner would.
Here is a checklist to help you get started:
Strike up a Cohabitation Agreement
Create a Last Will and Testament
Set up an Advance Directive
Use a Power of Attorney
1. Strike up a Cohabitation Agreement
Enter the cohabitation agreement – a legal document that serves as a safety net for couples living together without being married. It's similar to a prenuptial agreement, tailor-made for unmarried partners.
A cohabitation agreement can cover a wide array of topics, such as how assets will be divided in case of a breakup, who will retain ownership of property, and whether spousal support will be provided. It provides clarity and peace of mind, establishing rights and responsibilities that shield both partners from future uncertainties.
For some couples, the idea of a cohabitation agreement might seem far-fetched or cynical. The truth, however, is that having such an agreement reinforces, rather than diminishes, the significance of the relationship. It showcases a willingness to take the necessary steps to secure a future together, and not in the sense of being bound by obligation, but bound by love and mutual respect.
If you're interested in learning more about how to create a cohabitation agreement with your live-in partner, read our full guide here.
2. Create a Last Will and Testament
Your legal relationship status significantly impacts your inheritance rights. For example, in the case of a married individual's death, their spouse is usually entitled to inherit a part of the deceased's estate, though the extent of this entitlement can vary based on factors such as the state they live in, the presence of a valid Last Will, or existing children.
On the other hand, for unmarried couples, unless a valid Last Will or Living Trust explicitly states, the surviving partner typically has no right to inheritance. Without a Last Will (known as dying intestate), the distribution of one's estate falls under state succession laws, often leaving the decision of inheritance to a court that typically prioritizes blood relatives, like children or parents, over an unmarried partner.
Unmarried individuals can protect their partner's rights to inheritance by explicitly naming them as a Beneficiary in a Last Will and Testament. Failing to do so could mean that the partner might only claim ownership of jointly owned property or, in some cases, have no legal claim to the estate whatsoever. Designating your partner as a Beneficiary in your Last Will ensures they can inherit a portion of your estate after your passing.
3. Set up an Advance Directive
In the unfortunate event that one partner becomes incapacitated, such as being in a coma or unable to make decisions on their own, the other partner may not have any legal authority to handle important matters on their behalf. This can include making medical decisions or handling financial affairs. To ensure your partner has the legal right to act on your behalf in such situations, it's critical to set up an Advance Directive. This legal document allows individuals to designate someone they trust as their representative in case of incapacitation.
An Advance Directive typically includes a Living Will, which outlines the individual's wishes for medical treatment and end-of-life care, and a durable power of attorney for healthcare, which grants another person the authority to make medical decisions on their behalf. By setting up an Advance Directive, you can ensure that your partner will have the legal power to make important decisions for you if and when necessary. Without this document, your unmarried partner may not have any say in these matters, even if you have been in a long-term committed relationship.
It's essential to regularly review and update your Advance Directive as needed, especially as circumstances change or if you and your partner's relationship status changes. It's also crucial to discuss your wishes with your partner and ensure they understand their role and responsibilities in the event of an emergency.
4. Use a Power of Attorney
In a marriage, spouses generally have the automatic legal authority to make critical financial or healthcare decisions for one another. However, for those in unmarried partnerships, obtaining the legal right for one partner to make significant choices for the other necessitates formal documentation.
This capability can become critical in a variety of scenarios. For example, should an accident render you incapacitated, having your partner empowered to authorize certain medical procedures on your behalf could be essential.
Similarly, if your profession demands frequent travel, it might be practical for your partner to manage your financial responsibilities—like making bill payments or endorsing checks—during your absence.
If you're in a committed long-term partnership, consider using a Power of Attorney to legally authorize your partner to act on your behalf.
Trust & Will Makes the Process Easy
The breakup between Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix serves as an eye-opener: the split between an unmarried couple can be just as messy, dramatic, and painful than that of a divorced couple.
More and more couples are choosing to remain unmarried, for a variety of reasons. However, while this choice may be more prevalent, the property laws haven't changed. Laws have been designed to protect married individuals should anything happen, but not unmarried individuals.
That's why you must consider taking a proactive stance and secure both yourself and your partner's peace of mind by taking certain steps. Ranging from a cohabitation agreement, a Will, and Power of Attorney, there are ways you can leverage legal instruments to better protect you and your partner.
The good news here is that Trust & Will can help you put these documents into place! Whether you want to tackle your Will, Advance Directive, or both, our online platform makes the process much easier and seamless. Take our free quiz to see where you should get started, or compare our different estate planning and settlement options today!
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Trust & Will is an online service providing legal forms and information. We are not a law firm and we do not provide legal advice.
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