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Family Arguments During the Holidays can have Profound Consequences, According to New Survey from Trust & Will

Politics, according to the report, is the biggest source of tension, with post-election dynamics likely amplifying this trend.

New York, NY, November 19, 2024 – Nearly 40% of families report open disagreements during holiday gatherings, according to a recent survey by Trust & Will, a leading online estate planning platform. Notably, a full one-third of these conflicts escalate into lasting family rifts, with nearly 20% of respondents indicating that these disputes have even led to changes in a family member’s will or estate plan.

The report identifies the top five topics most likely to trigger holiday conflicts: politics (34%), past family grievances (32%), relationships (25%), finances (25%), and parenting (17%). Politics, on the heels of a contentious presidential election, is expected to remain a primary driver of family tensions this year. While sensitive topics like inheritance or family heirlooms are often avoided, 38% of respondents in this survey admit that holiday conversations sometimes touch on these subjects in lighthearted ways.

Psychologists and mental health experts note that while not every family encounters conflict, data suggest that disagreements during holiday togetherness are common enough to be recognized as a widespread phenomenon. 

Age, Gender, and Regional Differences in Holiday Tensions

Trust & Will’s survey also reveals intriguing differences in holiday conflict dynamics by age, gender, and region. 

  • Comparing generations, Millennials are most focused on relationship issues, with 37% citing this as a holiday discussion topic, while 36% of Baby Boomers say it’s politics. 40% of Millennials and 32% of Gen X say past grievances cause consternation. 

  • Gender differences also come into play when it comes to holiday pressure points.  According to the survey, 38% of men interviewed say it’s politics that gets people upset while 35% of women blame family dynamics or past grievances.

  • Geography adds another layer of complexity. Of the national sample, 34% of those who blamed finances for these family arguments hail from the West, while 38% of Midwestern families attribute holiday tension to politics. In the Southeast 37% of those surveyed say it’s relationships and love life that spurs friction. While in the Northeast, 30% say parenting and personal beliefs really get the conversations heated.  

"Involving family in your estate planning is essential," said Cody Barbo, CEO of Trust & Will. "The holidays are a great opportunity to have meaningful conversations about your legacy and intentions. We encourage families to take a thoughtful, long-term perspective, focusing on what truly matters, rather than letting temporary emotions shape important decisions. With open communication, estate planning can bring families closer, not cause division."

About Trust & Will

Trust & Will is an innovative online platform providing estate planning solutions to make it easy, affordable, and accessible for families to protect their legacy. Trusted by hundreds of thousands of customers, Trust & Will is committed to helping families plan for the future with peace of mind.

About the Survey

This random double-opt-in survey of 500 individuals was conducted between November 6, 2024 - November 8, 2024 by market research company Talker Research, whose team members are members of the Market Research Society (MRS) and the European Society for Opinion and Marketing Research (ESOMAR). Respondents were both men and women, evenly distributed in age and geography.